Sharing Space
It’s one of those nights where insomnia got the better of me, and a restless mind took over my nightly sleep routine. I was talking with a friend of mine earlier during the evening, and we were discussing the topic of yoga and how beneficial it is, not only for your body but also for your mind. With yoga comes meditation. Have you ever tried to mediate, if so, for how long? I am lucky if I can muster 30 seconds until unwanted thoughts walk into my weary mind. That’s just it my friend explained. The whole concept of mediation is often feared, by some not by all, because the thought of letting your mind be at peace and quiet is terrifying. Isn’t that strange, an act that is thought of to be an act of calmness and serenity, seen as something scary? Scary because these thoughts can be insecurities, thoughts that are warranted, thoughts that are disregarded daily. What are the thoughts that creep into your meditation mind that you are trying to ignore? Is it the bills you are late paying on? The phone call or text messages you never returned? Maybe even thoughts of a long lost love.
For me I think of the future. I try and plan, predict and for see the parts of what’s to come, which only leads to being overwhelmed, which leads to anxiety. Anxiety is a word is that is tossed around quite often in our society now, almost as if it’s some sort of trend. What are the thoughts you try and push away out of your head during times of stillness? I question my career moves, I question my actions, my relationships, basically everything comes to the surface and if I’m being honest at times I can’t stomach it, at times it can be too much.
Is the only answer in abolishing or taking control of these thoughts to talk them out? Maybe even cry them out. The solution, I have found, is the kitchen floor. An old friend of mine once said to me to dwell close to the floor so you never neglect the items that keep you grounded and centre you. I took this notion literally and will, at times, lie on the floor. Typically, I choose the kitchen floor. The kitchen is usually where the most action happens. Food is prepared, wine is drunk, conversations are had and memories are harvested. When it’s time to find out what keeps your grounded go to where the memories are.
Lying on the kitchen floor is an act I mostly do alone, because let’s be honest – it’s a little strange. Do you have those little things you do where you think, “I don’t want anyone to know I do that”? I have a couple, maybe even more than that, which is why the newest news in my life has me questioning the things I do when no one is around. My boyfriend has invited me to live with him. As he takes steps into building a life for himself, I’m grateful to know I am included in that picture. Also a little shocked that he would want to deal with me on a regular basis. However, the question remains how do you find room to be you, in a house that’s for two? (See what I did there? Little rhyme time.)
I mean that’s what we’ve been taught since the beginning, sharing is caring (oops I did it again!). We’re taught to share. From the beginning its miniscule items like toys, food or other possessions. Now as we get older we’re taught to share our stories, share our homes and share our lives. But at what point is something not shared? At what point do we not completely blend the entirety of our lives, because I don’t know if there’s room on the kitchen floor for the both of us. You tell me, is it selfish to keep some parts separate? When my boyfriend asked the question of moving in together, I asked for my own room. He laughed at me, so I said it would be for a home office, a creative space. Men have man caves all the time, why can’t it be possible to have a woman-space (let’s come up with a better name than that). A space to lie on the floor, a space to meditate and let thoughts of insecurities or doubt creep in, a space to reconnect with yourself and take time away, but at the same time in a space that is shared.
I’ll leave you with this last thought. Isn’t it sort of ironic, when we’re single we’re told to learn to be alone, learn to love who you are you and nourish the soul you own. When we’re in a relationship it’s learning to love the other person for whom they are, learning to live a life that is shared and a life that may be different. But we’re never really told to learn how to do both. Why is it only one or the other? Maybe an answer will come to you when you’re meditating, and if it does please let me know.
XOXO Witty Kitty
Photo: Janet Davie
Location: Azuridge
PSST! Feel like having a little more chit chat shoot me a message at ksmiley16@gmail.com!